


drink up, baby

by charming_syrai



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-13
Updated: 2011-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:10:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charming_syrai/pseuds/charming_syrai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>set during S4E22 <span class="u">Lucifer Rising</span> | <i>She doesn't exactly plan for them to have a physical relationship; she goes with the flow and it kind of happens...</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	drink up, baby

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Written for    
> [THE DARKSHIP PROMPT MEME!](http://charming-syrai.livejournal.com/114800.html#cutid1)

Ruby remembers vague bits and pieces, randoms words like _choices, Dumbo, hard to see, Azazel, Lilith, the only one, always, you, him, free, he's gonna, repay, you can’t even, too late, don't care_ melting together and they'd probably make a sentence and a whole lot more sense, too, if she wasn't tasting death. If she wasn't dying.

She remembers the warmth of _his_ body so sudden against her back that it takes her by surprise, Dean's face and the raging anger in his eyes, so full of hate. The cold steel of her own knife, the irony of the whole goddamn situation, and the pain - she remembers all that too.

_Not like this!_

And,

\---

There's Sam, fighting with three _Deadly Sins_ when Ruby chooses to enter his life. She'd planned to stay hidden for a little while longer, she'd planned to observe a bit more to learn what moves and pushes him forward, really, but at that point in time, she couldn't take the risk of losing _him._ Not to a fucking Sin.

Although, to think of it, it is a sin of another kind that gets to him in the end.

She never really regrets the decision of jumping in to save his ass; it becomes ridiculously obvious, quite _fast_ , that there was nothing else for her to learn anyways. Since the beginning of the Holy War, if not even earlier, every demon smart enough has always known that there is only _one_ absolute truth when it comes to the Winchesters.

Dean, he lives to protect his family just as his little brother lives and breathes _revenge_ and when she understands the meaning of _absolute_ , when it sinks in, the rest is just improvising.

\---

The first time they have sex (neither of them ever call it making love, because they both know better) Dean is in Hell and for her, it only sweetens the pot. While the older Winchester is being tortured by Alastair six ways from Sunday, Sam, he's caged as well, but the bars of his Hell are his own making. Then again, so are Dean's.

Ruby tries her best to both hide her amusement as well as nudge Sam into the right direction.

She doesn't exactly plan for them to have a physical relationship; she goes with the flow and it kind of happens... a window, an opportunity. In fact, in the beginning of her journey, just the simple idea of sleeping with a fucking hunter makes sick to her meat-suit stomach, brings that sour taste of disgust to her throat and for the longest time she can't even understand how it got so far.

Truth is that at some point everything changes, turns somehow upside-down. One day she looks into his eyes and what she sees isn't the old Sam, the one who thought there's more to life than _payback_. She knows that this, though she can't tell exactly when that happened, is when the idea stops being revolting. It becomes a fantasy and not only hers.

The first time he kisses her, she knows the End is only a matter of time.

\---

There she is, with Sam in their motel room when it's Dean's turn to calmly enter _their_ life. It takes only a one knock on the door to shake her game. She's surprised, at first, but after the initial shock, there's nothing but pure anger. Why the fuck did they not keep him somewhere unreachable, perfectly hidden from those pompous sons of bitches?

It's only without Dean that Sam can evolve, reach his true potential and be _strong_ the way he has to be to get through it alive - she's not sure if his survival is needed at the end, but she wishes for it anyway.

So, yeah, when Dean reappears, cheating Death the way only a Winchester can, she's royally pissed off and wishing she could rip the wings off of that one fucking angel, for good. Still, she holds her tongue and her temper and goes forward with the plan, playing her cards and her part. She's a soldier, after all, and a soldier always finds a way through small setbacks.

\---

It takes time, which is something the demon doesn't have endlessly, but luckily she's got enough. She's got Sam so wrapped around her finger, the whole element of surprise when it comes to Sam and well, Dean starts softening up real nice, too, although Ruby isn't stupid enough to blindly trust any of it. Dean, he's too much of a hunter, after all, in all the right ways just like his Dad always was.

Ruby calculates and decides that all she needs to do is go slow about finding the right buttons to push and that's exactly what she does. Sam's hot spots are so damn easy to find that it doesn't take long, only a second, for the younger Winchester to grow addicted. Addicted to _her_ , to the blood and most of all, to the _power_ he thinks she's giving him.

It becomes really fucking obvious that Sam's inner struggle, it's always been about power; always being too little or too much of something. Too young to save Mom, too unprepared to protect Jessica, too oblivious to Dad's plans, too stupid to find a way to break Dean's deal, too _powerless_ to get him out of the Pit.

After that it's all _drink up, baby_ all the fucking time and sometimes, though she tries her hardest, she can't hide the self-satisfied smirk or the excitement.

_Soon._

\---

She remembers being hunted and hated by her own kind, she remembers being tortured by Alastair even though it should have been Dean on the rack, his guts on the floor. All through it, every second the only thing she wanted to scream was a confession, _I'm on your side, you fucking son of a bitch_ but she didn't, said nothing, only went with the plan she'd made with the Winchesters because Lilith would have had her head otherwise.

Trapped, in pain, with the confession right there at the tip of her tongue, she's trying to tell herself that _you've waited so long already, what's another torture, huh?_ Ever since the hell-hounds came to shred her apart, ever since Lilith gave her the option of serving her. It's so close, everything she's been waiting and fighting for ever since she forgot what it was to be human. Not that she'd remember any of it, being that pitiful creature, but she knows the tale in Lilith's words.

Alistair is dispensable, Sam not so much and so she stays strong, for Lilith and for Lucifer and for the better world He'll create.

She remembers hating Alastair for being so fucking stupid, so fucking blind.

\---

_Soon._

There was supposed to be Lucifer. There was supposed to be Lucifer and her and Sam and the whole apocalypse, Hell on Earth with the demons running the show and the pathetic little human beings begging for mercy, kneeling.

There was supposed to be order and demonic peace for her kind without the hunters making everything so fucking difficult. Lilith always spoke of a reward.

All gone.

\---

Dean's face and the raging anger in his eyes, so full of hate (the cold steel, the pain) and she remembers her plans for this man. To her they were grand and beautiful, just. She would've asked for His permission to be the one to kill Dean and she would've lied to Sam, blamed someone else for _their_ sake. Just for his acceptance.

She knows better than she remembers how it's not love she feels for Sam, not that sad, clingy and needy _thing_ humans feel for one another, but something different, a bond that can only be formed between demons of the same kind. Lust, attachment, devotion; they're not exclusively for humans and hunters though they sure like to view them as such. She convinces herself that more than that, it's about Sam's potential, about the level he could reach if only Dean wasn't there. The truth is less complicated, of course.

She would've told Lucifer, in the end, because no one flat-out lies to Him, she would've said, _there's that_

And,

_I just don't want to share with Dean, not anymore._

\---

Before her final death, the demon's last thought is, _not like this,_ and then she remembers no more.


End file.
